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EPIGRAM, n. A short, sharp saying in prose or verse, frequently characterize by acidity or acerbity and sometimes by wisdom.

Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
American editorialist, journalist, short story writer, fabulist, and satirist
TEETOTALER, n. One who abstains from strong drink, sometimes totally, sometimes tolerably totally.

Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
American editorialist, journalist, short story writer, fabulist, and satirist
SYCOPHANT, n. One who approaches Greatness on his belly so that he may not be commanded to turn and be kicked. He is sometimes an editor.

Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
American editorialist, journalist, short story writer, fabulist, and satirist
FUTURE, n. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true, and our happiness is assured.

Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
American editorialist, journalist, short story writer, fabulist, and satirist
REQUIEM, n. A mass for the dead which the minor poets assure us the winds sing o'er the graves of their favorites. Sometimes, by way of providing a varied entertainment, they sing a dirge.

Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
American editorialist, journalist, short story writer, fabulist, and satirist
KILT, n. A costume sometimes worn by Scotchmen in America and Americans in Scotland.

Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
American editorialist, journalist, short story writer, fabulist, and satirist
HEART, n. Figuratively, this useful organ is said to be the seat of emotions and sentiments ... It is now known that sentiments and emotions reside in the stomach, being evolved from food by chemical action of the gastric fluid.

Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
American editorialist, journalist, short story writer, fabulist, and satirist
ANTIPATHY, n. The sentiment inspired by one's friend's friend.

Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
American editorialist, journalist, short story writer, fabulist, and satirist
EXECUTIVE, n. An officer of the Government, whose duty it is to enforce the wishes of the legislative power until such time as the judicial department shall be pleased to pronounce them invalid and of no effect.

Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
American editorialist, journalist, short story writer, fabulist, and satirist
Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.

Ambrose Bierce
American editorialist, journalist, short story writer, fabulist, and satirist
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