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PREFERENCE, n. A sentiment, or frame of mind, induced by the erroneous belief that one thing is better than another.

Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
American editorialist, journalist, short story writer, fabulist, and satirist
SORCERY, n. The ancient prototype and forerunner of political influence. It was, however, deemed less respectable and sometimes was punished by torture and death.

Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
American editorialist, journalist, short story writer, fabulist, and satirist
EMOTION, n. A prostrating disease caused by a determination of the heart to the head. It is sometimes accompanied by a copious discharge of hydrated chloride of sodium from the eyes.

Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
American editorialist, journalist, short story writer, fabulist, and satirist
CLOCK, n. A machine of great moral value to man, allaying his concern for the future by reminding him what a lot of time remains to him.

Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
American editorialist, journalist, short story writer, fabulist, and satirist
UBIQUITY, n. The gift or power of being in all places at one time, but not in all places at all times, which is omnipresence, an attribute of God and the luminiferous ether only.

Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
American editorialist, journalist, short story writer, fabulist, and satirist
IMPENITENCE, n. A state of mind intermediate in point of time between sin and punishment.

Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
American editorialist, journalist, short story writer, fabulist, and satirist
PHILISTINE, n. One whose mind is the creature of its environment, following the fashion in thought, feeling and sentiment. He is sometimes learned, frequently prosperous, commonly clean and always solemn.

Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
American editorialist, journalist, short story writer, fabulist, and satirist
OYSTER, n. A slimy, gobby shellfish which civilization gives men the hardihood to eat without removing its entrails! The shells are sometimes given to the poor.

Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
American editorialist, journalist, short story writer, fabulist, and satirist
PASTIME, n. A device for promoting dejection. Gentle exercise for intellectual debility.

Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
American editorialist, journalist, short story writer, fabulist, and satirist
BABE or BABY, n. A misshapen creature of no particular age, sex, or condition, chiefly remarkable for the violence of the sympathies and antipathies it excites in others, itself without sentiment or emotion.

Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
American editorialist, journalist, short story writer, fabulist, and satirist
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