EPIGRAM, n. A short, sharp saying in prose or verse, frequently characterize by acidity or acerbity and sometimes by wisdom.
TEETOTALER, n. One who abstains from strong drink, sometimes totally, sometimes tolerably totally.
SYCOPHANT, n. One who approaches Greatness on his belly so that he may not be commanded to turn and be kicked. He is sometimes an editor.
FUTURE, n. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true, and our happiness is assured.
REQUIEM, n. A mass for the dead which the minor poets assure us the winds sing o'er the graves of their favorites. Sometimes, by way of providing a varied entertainment, they sing a dirge.
KILT, n. A costume sometimes worn by Scotchmen in America and Americans in Scotland.
HEART, n. Figuratively, this useful organ is said to be the seat of emotions and sentiments ... It is now known that sentiments and emotions reside in the stomach, being evolved from food by chemical action of the gastric fluid.
ANTIPATHY, n. The sentiment inspired by one's friend's friend.
EXECUTIVE, n. An officer of the Government, whose duty it is to enforce the wishes of the legislative power until such time as the judicial department shall be pleased to pronounce them invalid and of no effect.
Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.
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