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Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
American editorialist, journalist, short story writer, fabulist, and satirist
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce was an American short story writer, journalist, poet, and American Civil War veteran. His book The Devil's Dictionary was named as one of "The 100 Greatest Masterpieces of American Literature" by the American Revolution Bicentennial Administration. His story "An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge" has been described as "one of the most famous and frequently anthologized stories in American literature", and his book Tales of Soldiers and Civilians was named by the Grolier Club as one of the 100 most influential American books printed before 1900.
Reference: Wikipedia
Ambrose Gwinett Bierce Quotes Page 57
JUSTICE, n. A commodity which is a more or less adulterated condition the State sells to the citizen as a reward for his allegiance, taxes and personal service.
RESIGN, v.t. To renounce an honor for an advantage. To renounce an advantage for a greater advantage.
NEWTONIAN, adj. Pertaining to a philosophy of the universe invented by Newton, who discovered that an apple will fall to the ground, but was unable to say why. His successors and disciples have advanced so far as to be able to say when.
DRAGOON, n. A soldier who combines dash and steadiness in so equal measure that he makes his advances on foot and his retreats on horseback.
EPITAPH, n. An inscription on a tomb, showing that virtues acquired by death have a retroactive effect.
MISDEMEANOR, n. An infraction of the law having less dignity than a felony and constituting no claim to admittance into the best criminal society.
SATIETY, n. The feeling that one has for the plate after he has eaten its contents, madam.
CLERGYMAN, n. A man who undertakes the management of our spiritual affairs as a method of better his temporal ones.
CONSULT, v.i. To seek another's disapproval of a course already decided on.
DIARY, n. A daily record of that part of one's life, which he can relate to himself without blushing.
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