Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
American editorialist, journalist, short story writer, fabulist, and satirist
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce was an American short story writer, journalist, poet, and American Civil War veteran. His book The Devil's Dictionary was named as one of "The 100 Greatest Masterpieces of American Literature" by the American Revolution Bicentennial Administration. His story "An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge" has been described as "one of the most famous and frequently anthologized stories in American literature", and his book Tales of Soldiers and Civilians was named by the Grolier Club as one of the 100 most influential American books printed before 1900.
Ambrose Gwinett Bierce Quotes Page 3
PHRENOLOGY, n. The science of picking the pocket through the scalp. It consists in locating and exploiting the organ that one is a dupe with.
PROOF-READER, n. A malefactor who atones for making your writing nonsense by permitting the compositor to make it unintelligible.
EXHORT, v.t. In religious affairs, to put the conscience of another upon the spit and roast it to a nut-brown discomfort.
RESTITUTIONS, n. The founding or endowing of universities and public libraries by gift or bequest.
MAD, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence; at odds with the majority; in short, unusual. It is noteworthy that persons are pronounced mad by officials destitute of evidence that themselves are sane.
YESTERDAY, n. The infancy of youth, the youth of manhood, the entire past of age.
CONTEMPT, n. The feeling of a prudent man for an enemy who is too formidable safely to be opposed.
ZEAL, n. A certain nervous disorder afflicting the young and inexperienced. A passion that goeth before a sprawl.
RIBROASTER, n. Censorious language by oneself concerning another.
MERCY, n. An attribute beloved of detected offenders.