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Woody Allen quotes

Woody Allen

Heywood "Woody" Allen is an American film director, writer, actor, and comedian whose career spans more than six decades and multiple Academy Award-winning films. He began his career writing material for television in the 1950s, mainly Your Show of Shows (1950–1954) working alongside Mel Brooks, Carl Reiner, Larry Gelbart, and Neil Simon. He also published several books featuring short stories and wrote humor pieces for The New Yorker. In the early 1960s, he performed as a stand-up comedian in Greenwich Village alongside Lenny Bruce, Elaine May, Mike Nichols, and Joan Rivers. There he developed a monologue style and the persona of an insecure, intellectual, fretful nebbish. He released three comedy albums during the mid to late 1960s, earning a Grammy Award for Best Comedy Album nomination for his 1964 comedy album entitled simply Woody Allen. In 2004, Comedy Central ranked Allen fourth on a list of the 100 greatest stand-up comedians, while a UK survey ranked Allen the third-greatest comedian.
Reference: Wikipedia


Woody Allen Quotes Page 5

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More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.
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When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
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It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat keeps blowing off.
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On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down.
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When I was in school, I cheated on my metaphysics exam: I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.


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I took a speed reading course and read 'War and Peace' in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.
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What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat guy in the third row exists?
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I was nauseous and tingly all over ... I was either in love or I had smallpox.
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You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.
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Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.

           

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