Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
American editorialist, journalist, short story writer, fabulist, and satirist
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce was an American short story writer, journalist, poet, and American Civil War veteran. His book The Devil's Dictionary was named as one of "The 100 Greatest Masterpieces of American Literature" by the American Revolution Bicentennial Administration. His story "An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge" has been described as "one of the most famous and frequently anthologized stories in American literature", and his book Tales of Soldiers and Civilians was named by the Grolier Club as one of the 100 most influential American books printed before 1900.
Ambrose Gwinett Bierce Quotes
CRAYFISH, n. A small crustacean very much resembling the lobster, but less indigestible.
HUSBAND, n. One who, having dined, is charged with the care of the plate.
ADMINISTRATION, n. An ingenious abstraction in politics, designed to receive the kicks and cuffs due to the premier or president. A man of straw, proof against bad-egging and dead-catting.
GUILLOTINE, n. A machine which makes a Frenchman shrug his shoulders with good reason.
AUSTRALIA, n. A country lying in the South Sea, whose industrial and commercial development has been unspeakably retarded by an unfortunate dispute among geographers as to whether it is a continent or an island.
PATRIOTISM, n. Combustible rubbish read to the torch of anyone ambitious to illuminate his name.
FLOP, v. Suddenly to change one's opinions and go over to another party. The most notable flop on record was that of Saul of Tarsus, who has been severely criticised as a turn-coat by some of our partisan journals.
MACHINATION, n. The method employed by one's opponents in baffling one's open and honorable efforts to do the right thing.
DUEL, n. A formal ceremony preliminary to reconciliation of two enemies. Great skill is necessary to its satisfactory observance; if awkwardly performed ... deplorable consequences sometimes ensue. A long time ago a man lost his life.
Calamities, n. of two kinds: misfortunes to ourselves, and good fortune to others.