If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day weekend.
Utility is when you have one telephone, luxury is when you have two, and paradise is when you have none.
Some of the world's greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enought to know they were impossible.
Spring is when you feel like whistling even with a shoe full of slush.
Heredity is a splendid phenomenon that relieves us of responsibility for our shortcomings.
A lot of people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience.
The surprising thing about young fools is how many survive to become old fools.
If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles.
One nice thing about telling a clean joke is there's a good chance no one's heard it before.
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