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A lifetime isn't nearly long enough to figure out what it's all about.
— Doug Larson
A child is a person who can't understand why someone would give away a perfectly good kitten.
— Doug Larson
Accomplishing the impossible means only the boss will add it to your regular duties.
— Doug Larson
Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon.
— Doug Larson
The only nice thing about being imperfect is the joy it brings to others.
— Doug Larson
A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows.
— Doug Larson
There must be a happy medium somewhere between being totally informed and blissfully unaware.
— Doug Larson
Sometimes opportunity knocks, but most of the time it sneaks up and then quietly steals away.
— Doug Larson
The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it.
— Doug Larson
Few things are more satisfying than seeing your own children have teenagers of their own.
— Doug Larson
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