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Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
American editorialist, journalist, short story writer, fabulist, and satirist
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce was an American short story writer, journalist, poet, and American Civil War veteran. His book The Devil's Dictionary was named as one of "The 100 Greatest Masterpieces of American Literature" by the American Revolution Bicentennial Administration. His story "An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge" has been described as "one of the most famous and frequently anthologized stories in American literature", and his book Tales of Soldiers and Civilians was named by the Grolier Club as one of the 100 most influential American books printed before 1900.
Ambrose Gwinett Bierce Quotes Page 6
TRICHINOSIS, n. The pig's reply to proponents of porcophagy.
RECOUNT, n. In American politics, another throw of the dice, accorded to the player against whom they are loaded.
FIDDLE, n. An instrument to tickle human ears by friction of a horse's tail on the entrails of a cat.
EDUCATION, n. That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.
DEPENDENT, adj. Reliant upon another's generosity for the support which you are not in a position to exact from his fears.
SAUCE, n. The one infallible sign of civilization and enlightenment. A people with no sauces has one thousand vices; a people with one sauce has only nine hundred and ninety-nine. For every sauce invented and accepted a vice is renounced and forgiven.
NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.
ULTIMATUM, n. In diplomacy, a last demand before resorting to concessions.
MEDAL, n. A small metal disk given as a reward for virtues, attainments or services more or less authentic.
UNDERSTANDING, n. A cerebral secretion that enables one having it to know a house from a horse by the roof on the house. Its nature and laws have been exhaustively expounded by Locke, who rode a house, and Kant, who lived in a horse.
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